Keeping your balance in uncertain times
These are tough times, and it doesn't look like the road ahead is easier. It's challenging to maintain a sense of balance when the ground beneath your feet feels like its changing.
If you've ever stood on a wobble board or Bosu ball, you know that it takes a continuous effort to steady yourself. That kind of effort, constantly adjusting to changes even if they are slight, leads to fatigue. Adapting to change requires that we adjust our automatic nervous system patterns, and this is a physical process, not just a mental one. It typically takes 10 days to two-weeks to re-wire a neural connection! So even learning a new route to work can feel a bit unsettling. While having a small number of minor changes adds a little spice to daily life, like discovering a new restaurant with a dish you haven't tried before, change on an on-going basis becomes wearing for most of us. Any one who is marginalized in our culture knows this fatigue well since they must constantly guard against unexpected (or even expected) potential aggressions or slights.
So, how to manage the "wobble board" of life? Here are four suggestions for the on-going (more minor) wobbles that are unsettling our lives these days.
1. Expect disorganization. Whenever we must make an unexpected change, our typical response patterns are disrupted. The feeling of disorganization that follows is normal, and hopefully temporary. Knowing this is normal can give you the confidence to take a deep breath, offer yourself some self-compassion for wobbling yourself, and set-aside a few moments of quiet to gather yourself up during the day.
2. Plan to give yourself extra self care. This could be taking a walk at lunch instead of eating at your desk, or listening to your favorite music. Anything that gives you a respite and helps you relax, especially physically, will help your nervous system recover and re-balance after small "wobbles."
3. Take the time to ground yourself in the present moment when you are in a safe place. Many of the stresses we experience in our media-saturated world are not happening in the present moment. If the war in Ukraine distresses you or worries about climate change are gnawing at you, or maybe you are worried about a job or a child, take a few minutes to look around the room, feel your feet and your hands, and take three slow breaths. Just returning to the present moment can help you ground your body and mind.
4. Finally, a systemic perspective helps. Donella Meadow's little book, Thinking in Systems, remains one of my favorites in terms of learning to see the world through a systems lens. Understanding the systems - whether social, cultural, or economic - that constrain our lives helps you identify what you truly can change, what you could possibly influence, and what you can't affect at all. Focusing on what you can do is much more empowering (and calming usually) than becoming absorbed in battles you can't win. Take a step back from your situation and you may just see the world in a different light. Constellation work is a marvelous way to take that step and gain a broader perspective on whatever is "wobbling" in your world. Perhaps you will join us for one of our summer workshops.
