Intention vs. Intent - what's the difference & why does it matter?

Intention and intent. Aren't these the same thing, you ask?

Not from an energetic standpoint. As we come into the new year, this difference matters as we reflect on the past and aim for improvements in the new (as in new year's resolutions).

I first learned of the difference between intention and intent from Americo Yabar, a Peruvian chakaruna, a Quechua word that was translated to me as "a living bridge of feeling between cultures." He grew up with the Q'ero people near his family's homestead. So, his explanation of the difference between intention and intent was couched in the practical language of the inhabitants of the Andes: A puma doesn't sit around thinking about leaping after that rabbit that scampers past, she simply leaps with the intent of capturing her next meal. (The rabbit, obviously, has a different intent.)

Intention is thinking about doing something. It is my intention to go to the grocery store. Intent is the leap. Intent is when you get in the car and go to the grocery store. Intention is thinking, "I want to lose weight this year." Intent is tying your shoes to your front door handle so you have no choice but to put them on and head to the gym in the morning.

The beginning of the calendar year in the Northern hemisphere falls in the winter when we are more likely to be inside and (post holidays anyway) have time for contemplation. In other words, time to formulate intentions. Translating intention to intent, as almost all of us have discovered, is harder and more challenging to sustain than formulating that original intention.

Intentions encounter inertia. What do I mean by inertia? That is the habits, environment, people, and interactions that make up our daily lives now. In science this is the tendency of an object in motion or at rest to resist changes in direction or motion. The challenge to move ourselves from intention to intent means we encounter the inertia of how our lives are organized now.

Think of this in energy terms. To continue with the way things are requires little effort. The path is already laid, including the myelinated pathways in your brain and body that support your ways of thinking and acting now. In order to change direction, it will take more energy than continuing on as you are. Intentions lie in the realm of imagination where the actual physical energy costs of adding a new habit or resisting an old vice isn’t a factor. Once you move to intent, to action, you encounter the real cost (and sore muscles in the case of going to the gym) that come with realizing intent. And you might have to give up sleeping in that extra hour in the morning. What are you willing to give to gain this outcome? This kind of cost benefit calculation includes emotions. When we set an intention and fail to move to intent, to “leap” so to speak, we have the additional tax of feeling bad about ourselves, which places intention even further from intent.

That's why you need to provide scaffolding, supports, to help you get over the inertia energy hump of building new pathways of action (which also take energy).

Here are four ways to help yourself jump from intention to intent:

1. Shape your environment. For example, my husband wanted to take a news break because he realized it was making him increasingly anxious about events he was unable to control, and taking energy he could use to improve his life away from those efforts. After trying to “resist” the inertia of his habit, he removed the news apps from his phone and computer. He checks in once a week and is much happier. Making it easy to do (or avoid) the thing you want is intent, acting to help yourself succeed.

2. Craft a compelling vision of your future self. When my husband turned 50, he thought he would die shortly after that. His life was “over” (it was a bit dramatic!) We created an image of his 100 year old man as an advisor to his current self. It’s amazing how much wisdom our future self can provide for us if we lean into what it (which has already solved some of our current problems) can tell us. This is another way to keep your “why” in front of you. The future self you are making a change for usually encapsulates the reason why you want to make a change. Here's a great article on the benefit to your present self of getting in touch with your future self.

3. Get encouragement. Find allies who will celebrate small wins with you. Tell someone you trust to be positive with you about your goal and ask for their encouragement. This article on how to encourage loved ones gives great guidelines to potential supporters and can help you be clear what to ask for.

4.Finally, be kind to yourself. Even though it may seem contradictory, self-compassion is essential to overcoming inertia and moving from intention to intent. If, when we miss the mark, we are harsh with ourselves, or feel shame, we’re much more likely to quit. In order to regain our momentum and “leap” back into the actions that lead to our goals, we need to be kind with ourselves when we don’t make it to the gym because the babysitter was sick, or have to stay late at work and don’t make it home for dinner on time, or any of a number of ways we can find ourselves back to intending, but not acting. It’s much easier to tie those gym shoes to the door the night before, an action that pre-programs us to get up and go to the gym if we’re kind to ourselves and our internal voice is encouraging.

Happy New Year: may all your resolutions’ intentions transform into intent.

If improving your intimate relationships is an intention you'd like to transform into an intent this year, don’t miss out! Be sure to "leap" into our Essential Skills for Couples online program before January 15th and save.